Ok, now I just want to get silly for a couple of moments. I know you come to the LoadStorm blog to read insightful, unique articles about load testing and web performance. I get it. You are a geek like me. There is a 93.6% probability that you are a Star Trek fan too. Yep, I’ve got Worf as my ringtone.

web performance browdownPlease indulge me with a little diversion from our normal deeply technical tips & tricks to bring you a funny picture. To set the stage for why this appeals to me, I was born and raised in Lexington, Kentucky. That makes me a University of Kentucky Wildcat basketball fan by heritage. It’s in my blood. I cannot help being a fanatic any more than Yoda could take credit for his big pointy ears. It is a given in this universe.

This special Google search image is a tribute to this year’s college basketball player of the year: Anthony Davis. He is a Wildcat. His performance on the court is extraordinary. He is already the consensus #1 pick in the next NBA draft.

If he was a web application, he would have sub-second average response time with over 1 million concurrent users. If he was a Constitution-class Federation starship, he would have a top speed of warp 23. If he was on the cast of Big Bang Theory, he would be Sheldon’s more intelligent younger brother who leaves in multiple parallel universes simultaneously. If he was an Android app, iPhone would shutdown manufacturing immediately and leave thousands of children around the world unemployed. If he was a survivor on Battlestar Galactica, the fleet would have found Earth in a week. If he was president of a third-world country, the Justice League of America would move it’s headquarters to his country faster than you can say “invisible plane”.

Here is a young man with amazing humility and impeccable teamwork, so what do people use as his defining characteristic? His eyebrows. Or more accurately, his eyebrow. Earning a nickname from announcers and bloggers – “The Brow” – which is not used in derision, but with admiration. It has gone so far that kids make signs for ESPN SportCenter saying things like “Florida is gonna get Browdown”. It’s insane. Funny, but insane. Perhaps I just have a twisted sense of humor. Google jumped on that bandwagon because it was a powerful energy surge in the universe, but they are premature in calling the Cats this year’s champions. That won’t happen for another 6 weeks!

To Anthony: You are a hero to geeks like me. May you have a long and illustrious career in the NBA, make lots of money, and stay humble. Listen to Jamal Mashburn about what to do with your investments. And….please get a pair of tweezers.

Anthony is to basketball what LoadStorm is to load testing tools.